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Funny IRC Quotes

Here’s a list of (not-so)funny quotes from the #ioquake3 IRC channel:


  • [16:48] <eightbit> I hear DooM4 will be completely pitch-black, you don’t even get a flashlight. This is to increase the “spookiness” of it.
  • [16:49] <megatog615> no, it’s to prevent you from seeing texture pop-ins

I wrote a bot for irc that would simulate HelloBot and sent a copy to Zack, who edited it slightly and the following occurred:

  • [18:38] == mode/#ioquake3 [+o kevlarman] by ChanServ
  • [18:38] <@zakk> hello
  • [18:38] <yellowBot> Hello!
  • [18:38] <HelloBot> Hello!
  • [18:38] <yellowBot> Hello!
  • [18:38] <HelloBot> Hello!
  • [18:38] <yellowBot> Hello!
  • [18:38] <HelloBot> Hello!
  • etc…

In reference to baseio:

  • <eightbit> any planned size limit?
  • <zakk> 26kb
  • <eightbit> hah
  • <zakk> all the textures for the game must fit into 200×200
  • <eightbit> you mean 256^2
  • <eightbit> and no hires textures?
  • <zakk> we’re using my new format
  • <zakk> not polys
  • <zakk> not voxels
  • <zakk> but zaxels
  • <eightbit> ogod
  • <zakk> ioquake3.txt that shit

Upon joking about rewriting ioq3 in Javascript

  • [14:20:18] <eightbit> we’ll need to rewrite a risc emulator in javascript
  • [14:20:31] <@zakk> I love playing risc
  • [14:20:36] <eightbit> …
  • [14:20:40] <eightbit> oooooh
  • [14:20:42] <eightbit> i get it
  • [14:20:44] <eightbit> you’re trolling

Upon Zakk announcing that submitting third-party code is okay:

  • [18:25] <kevlarman> ew
  • [18:25] <kevlarman> i hate bloom so much
  • [18:25] <kevlarman> only time it’s acceptable to bloom is on samples > 1
  • [18:26] <marky> bloom all the things
  • [18:26] * kevlarman slaps marky with a broom
  • [18:26] <eightbit> Bloom is cruise control for good graphics


Absolutely NO context whatsoever.

  • <AstralSerpent> Hi I’m noob how to code ioquake3 okay b ye
  • <Thilo> lol 😀
  • <Thilo> AstralSerpent: you open a c file
  • <Thilo> you write text into it
  • <Thilo> then you type make
  • <Thilo> the end
  • <AstralSerpent> but I don’t think typing make at the end of a source file is legitimate syntax
  • <Thilo> probably not
  • <Thilo> by the way
  • <Thilo> I’m pregnant.
  • <AstralSerpent> You’re pregnant.


Thilo, upon zakk requesting work on ioq3 for OSX:

  • <zakk> thilo you should work on ioquake3 mac
  • <Thilo> oh
  • <Thilo> its broken again, right?
  • <AstralSerpent> It’s 4 PM here in Australia.
  • <zakk> no excuses!
  • <Thilo> damn
  • <AstralSerpent> 😐
  • <zakk> yes
  • <Thilo> i hate mac
  • <Thilo> but yes
  • <zakk> i need to send you this mac mini
  • <zakk> come pick it up
  • <Thilo> eww
  • <Thilo> i dont want to have this in my flat
  • <Thilo> i usually flush shit down the toilet, i dont connect it to a monitor